i can't believe how different i am.
i was absorbing my page and i was like






shit.

i'm retardededed.

so, i met kelsey and madeline at the mall, around 7-ish.
we rode the carousel about 3 times, and there are these kids that were in front of us that thought madeline was hannah, bwahahahahaha.
and i argue with one of the dudes while the ride is going...
and the other kid says he loves me.
i, of course, said i love you, too.
he fists there air and says yesssssssssssssssssss.
one of those numbers.
after the 2nd or 3rd ride the manager of the motherfucking carousel tells us no more teenagers.
what the fuck.
so maddie, kelsey, and i roam around the mall...go into stores and whatnot.
i broke the arm off the pac-sun mannequin, and knocked down about 15 others.
it was fuckin' epic.
the second we walk out of pac-sun, i see hanah and tayler.
i ran up to them and hugged them both, and lost kelsey, but i could still see maddie's head, so i yelled at them i would call, but they didn't hear me, and kelsey didn't pick up the first time i called. -_-
so i talked to hanah and tayler, and they tell me that jessie and SHAWNA were there.
i haven't seen shawna in a really fuckin' long time, so, i go and find them.
they were sitting on benches...being...jessie and shawna.
haha.
so i sit with them and wait for hanah and tayler to get done in the store.
blah blah blah.
and jessie and shawna ask if i have money.
i did. :P
they begged for frosties...
when we went to get them, i saw amy and elmo ^___^
amy saw me earlier but i didn't see her, ahaha. oops.
after standing with them for about 10 minutes, we went to go get food.
the frosty maker thing was broken, so i got shawna, hanah, and myself some really good tea.
jessie got lemonade.
so we all head into hollister because hanah needs to get some new pants, and she hated them all because they were tight.
blahh.
we went up the escalator, and jessie's dad was right fuckin' there.
shawna and jessie left after that. :[
so i went around with tayler and hanah some more.
we sat under the penis tree until my mom got there, around...9:15?
and we all talked for about 10 minutes when she was there.
i made plans for tomorrow, hugged them byebye, and got into the car.
i've been bored ever since.
i wish i went to the movie with them :/
but i'm glad i got to see everybody.

history repeats itself.
i look into your eyes,
searching for a new beginning.
but all i find is false hope.
i glance at you with a somber expression,
but it's not noticeable...
i am an apparition.
i search for haven;
trying to break the silence of my self inflicted censorship.
history repeats itself.

my passion is rationed
by lovers lost
"best friends",
more like a
beginning's end.
borderline obcessed.
i beg myself,
"never again!"
i follow through until...
i am hypnotized by another
hand to hold,
another,
conscience gone cold.
nights filled with amusement
turn to
silent incuriosity.
until...
another.

it's been around, oh, 5 months since i last posted.
let me fill you in.

halloween was awesome, i stole pillowcases from sherry and got an ass load of candy...it was an awesome night.

hanah & i DIDN'T get to go to Chicago, as planned. i just stayed in during winter break due to illness. x_x

i also didn't get to go to the feb. 3rd show, and krysten has been fucking annoying me ever since, like i've never been to a show. psh. i didn't go to the AFI show either.

i've been put into isolation at school...i fucking hate it. they say i'm too smart to never do my work. whatever... i'm also a disturbance, but who fucking isn't? in homeroom...all day long. fuck... it's bullshit. it's not motivation, it's hate fuel.

didn't get to go see the hush sound :[, and i'm not getting to go to the lock-in at SPOM. :[ :[ :[ :[.

i had ear surgery yesterday...i got a tube thing put in, and now i can't swim without wearing an earplug in the left ear. :P it sucked 'cause hanah and sabrina couldn't come. :[

i'm not best friends with hanah anymore.
it still makes me wanna cry. i'm best friend-less for the first time in a year, and i hate it. i miss everybody. i just want the school year to be over. i hate feeling like i'm dying from the inside out. i miss the days of singing every song that comes on the radio, even if we didn't know the words. i miss nights stayed at matt's, when i was always the first to fall asleep and i would wake up where i wanted to be. i'm tired of of this dark cloud over everything i do, so i can never be happy. i suck at life.
i'm close-ish to other people. christen, liz, tyler; but it'll never EVER be the same as hanah and i....i'll probably never have it again. i blew it.
i miss the shire.
i miss the hillshire kids.
i miss last summer.

currently, everything sucks.
& i wanna die.

so it turns out the warranty on my ipod wasn't run out.


yay.


i got a new one today!!!!!!!!



YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!


ok sorry lol

@(O_o)@

MONKEY!

icrashcars513 (12:36:11 AM): lol i just got the urge to make fun of jesus

























































































































































LOLJESUS.COM

i want to be this girl when i grow up.

hannah love and i started a fucking fanbase for her.

hell yes.

Alright!

Break me down
You got a lovely face
We're going to your place
And now you got to freak me out
Scream so loud
Getting fucking laid
You want me to stay
But I got to make my way

Chorus:
Hey!
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good I'm on top of it
When I dream
I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(Repeat Chorus)

Take it all
The paper is your game
You jump in bed with fame
Another one night payed in full
You're so fine
It won't be a loss
Cashing in the rocks
Just to get you face to face

(Chorus x2)

Get the video
Fuck you so good
Get the video
Fuck you so good

Crazy bitch
Crazy bitch
Crazy... bitch

(Chorus)

Hey
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good I'm on top of it
When I dream
I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back
Come on!

Baby girl
You want it all
To be a star you'll have to go down
Take it off
No need to talk
You're crazy but I like the way you fuck me!

(Chorus x2)

You keep me right on
You're crazy but I like the way you fuck me!

i just got into a fight with one of my [ex-]friend angela about shoplifting.

oh, what a wonderful waste of both of our time.
FUCK

no-one should make such a big deal about that.



FUCK THE FUCKING FUCKERS!

the same way she makes everything a big deal.
i mean, damn, woman!

bitching about shit like that doesn't help anything!
it won't make me stop doing stuff like that, even though i won't do [shoplifting] EVER AGAIN.

i already agreed with hanah about that A LONGASS TIME AGO.

and we stopped for all the wrong reasons.
[we don't want to get caught]
haha.

and NOW, after 3+ hours of arguing...

she's gonna get pissed at matt.

FUCK THIS BULLSHIT

i am soo mad right now.
everything looks a little bit red.

THAT'S HOW MAD BULLSHIT LIKE THIS MAKES ME.

she reminds me of my mother.

i don't want to have to deal with that.